For as long as I’ve been married, my wife and I — well, just I, since Sharon rarely participates in my alarmingly-frequent bouts of lunacy — share two holiday traditions (well, three, if you count dusting off our 18-inch pre-decorated Christmas tree and plugging it in amidst almost no ceremony) : (a) an off-kilter email lampooning those holiday update letters that we all get every year (and that you probably send yourself), and (b) a letter from Santa that magically appears next to the spent cookie and milk we supposedly leave out for the big guy the night before. (In fact, the whole thing is staged from a few cookie crumbs on a plate and a few drops of milk swirled in a glass.)
Herewith, the beginnings of a definitive repository of our holiday folly. Missing letters are attributable to computer crashes and/or my not giving a crap that year.
By the way, all these masterpieces were done for the dubious benefit of two adults and one dog — no kids. Which is a good thing, because kids would have gone for emancipated minor status pretty much out of the chute.
Holiday Fun by Jay Mitchell is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NoDerivatives 4.0 International License.