Universal Truth

I got to thinking the other day about the universe and stuff. (The aforesaid thinking might have had something to do with medical marijuana – I think the “doctor” diagnosed me with “bees knees,” whatever they are. I’ll tell you this, with the legal weed, I don’t feel my real knees, much less the bee ones.)

Anyway, as I said, I started thinking about the universe and how it was possibly created. (Actually, now that I think of it, the thinking was prompted by a combination of the aforesaid medical marijuana and some sort of weird insect that had got into the house when we opened the patio door for the dog. Actually, that’s probably way more information than you need; chalk it up to the combination of medical marijuana and insects.)

Anyway, back to the universe. What occurred to me was no way that the entire universe could ever possibly be a construct made up by humans. I mean, what person in his or her right mind would come up with insects?

Because I am an organized person – last weekend I spent alphabetizing everything I own – I jotted down a comparison of the universe as we know it and the one mankind would have come up with:

As We Know It

Birds
Bees
Educated Fleas
Animals
Vegetables
Minerals
People
… Well, you know the rest

If Humans Did It

Birds
Bees (because I heard somewhere that bees have something to do with flowers, and we all like flowers)
Flowers (see above)
Dogs
Cats
Newman-O’s
Ben & Jerry’s
Some People (I think we all know a few who wouldn’t make the list)

I ran my concept past a guy I know who took a biology course in high school, and he pointed out to me that, as it turns out, most of the stuff in the universe that I would leave off the list is kind of important to keeping things going. (Which I took to mean “no insects, no Ben & Jerry’s.”)

So, as it turns out, it’s a good thing I’m not in charge of the universe.

CC BY-ND 4.0 Universal Truth by Jay Mitchell is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NoDerivatives 4.0 International License.

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1 Response

  1. Dave says:

    My friend David Gerety sent me your Blog!
    Very good thin veiled sarcasm!
    Keep up the good work.

    Ps.Ramp up sarcasm!
    Dave

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